2014 is drawing to a close, and what better is there way to send off the year other than by talking about the worst films I saw in cinemas over the last 12 months?
I would've done a best list first, but there are still movies that I want to see before I feel I can accurately construct my list. Also, I missed a lot of bad movies that came out this year, a fact I am very much aware/thankful of. However, out of the movies I did see, here are the worst starting with number 10:
#10 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
I can't think of another premise as wacky and as innovative as a group of mutant turtles who eat pizza and are trained in the art of Ninjutsu by a talking rat. This film once again wasted that huge abundance of potential, and instead we saw ugly CGI turtles run around with Megan Fox tangled up in an incoherent story, endlessly confusing sub plots and uninspired action sequences straight out of a Michael Bay movie. What a shame.
#9 Exodus: Gods and Kings
Well Ridley Scott appears to be on a downhill slope at the moment, doesn't he? Don't get me wrong, this film is a visual splender with it's plague sequences and the "crossing of the Red Sea finale". Everything else though is a huge mess. Big name actors are in the film simply to stand there and do nothing, the character development (of Moses, played by Christian Bale, in particular) made no sense and it depicted God in the stupidest way imaginable. This and last year's The Counsellor prove that Scott needs to direct a movie with a decent screenplay and fast, otherwise his reputation could well be tarnished. What a frustrating movie to sit through this was!
#8 I, Frankenstein
I, Frankenstein. I, can't believe they made Frankenstein this awful. This film was a true tragedy. It was only 80 minutes long but felt like it had been on for 5 hours. There wasn't a single scene in the film which mattered. As you would expect, the acting was mediocre, the story was confusing as hell and the screenplay a giant mess. Even the special effects were garbage. CGI can't save a film, but it can damn well try when your movie is shit on a stick like this is.
#7 Dracula Untold
Wow. Another "iconic monster movie" that screwed up big time. I give props to Luke Evans and Charles Dance for trying, but trying is all they can do. For a film called Dracula which depicted his origin story, I was surprised at just how little I cared and at how bored I was. This film could've had some kick-ass Dracula moments and a strong emotional core to it, but it completely fell flat on its face. If they're truly planning on making a shared universe with these characters, please make films better than this. Please make them a lot better than this.
#6 A Million Ways to Die in the West
How about "A Million Ways to get horrendously bored and upset in a movie theatre?". God, Seth MacFarlane should've just bought Ted 2 out a year earlier. This film was a comedy where the laughs were limited to a few measly chuckles, which annoyed me more the more I reflected on the film months after seeing it. It felt like a Seth MacFarlane inside joke that nobody else got but himself. To see the genius of a man stoop so low was a low point of 2014 for me personally, and this movie sucked.
#5 The Purge: Anarchy
This film really got under my skin and made me one angry fella. This film thought itself was amazing, it thought it had so many profound things to say about hierarchy within society. When your film tries to be as pretentious as this film in places and then similarly stupid in other places, showcasing homeless men running around on fire, then you have a problem my friend. A shitty problem which goes by the name of The Purge: Anarchy.
#4 Into the Storm
A disaster of a disaster movie. This film really got to me and I hated my experience watching this. I don't like watching films which stupid main characters, even more stupid supporting characters and even more stupid and annoying "comedic relief characters". If you've seen the film (God help you), you'll know those 2 Rednecks were just as irritating as Jar Jar Binks. They should've called it "Into the Storm with a bunch of morons".
#3 Tammy
#2 Transformers: Age of Extinction
Michael Bay has made the exact same movie for the fourth time in a row. The three act structure, the humour, the endless product placement, the cheesy government conspiracy dialogue, the incoherent action to name a few are exactly the same as before, and they're all terrible. This film just kept on going and going and going and I couldn't believe it! Even the visual effects are trash in this film, a film which made me feel physically sick and angry at the same time. I really hate this franchise and I keep praying that Bay will step down and give the reigns to a more capable director.
#1 The Legend of Hercules
It's perhaps the worst movie I've seen in my entire life. It's atrocious. It's a tremendous bore half the time and the other half it's comedy gold. Regardless of whether I was near snoozing or laughing hysterically, I was still sat in sheer disbelief at how this film's script was green lit by a studio and made by a director. You directed Die Hard 2 man, what the fuck happened to you? I could rant at how terrible The Legend of Hercules is but I'd be wasting my time. Just don't see it, please!
I feel much better now. If you have any opinions on any of my picks or any movie which didn't make the list, please leave a comment!
Thanks for reading,
Matt
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